Pain
by Spikeslittledevil
Summary: Buffy got some of her feelings out at the bronze but whats going to happen next? B/S
1. Pain

Pain  
  
By SLD & Slayer(friend of mine).  
  
Author note: The songs are by Melissa Etheridge.. She cool. I like her songs..Anyway I hope you like. Please R&R  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy and the others… (Spike Sniff) Don't own him Damn _ anywayz enjoy!  
  
  
  
The bronze was packed. Buffy walked through the club looking for the gang. She glanced around and spotted them over towards the stage. She waved and headed over there. The whole gang was here. She smiled and took a seat by Willow.  
  
"So What's up?" Buffy said looking around the table.  
  
Anya and Xander were starring into each other's eyes. Willow watching for Tara.  
  
A girl with brown long hair and brown eyes came on stage. "A lucky person from the audience will get a chance to sing on stage." Said the girl.  
  
Buffy looked around and got up and walked over towards the stage. She watched as the girl scanned the people. She spotted Buffy waiting to be called on.  
  
"You, I want you to sing a song." Said the girl. Buffy looked up and shrugged her shoulders and tossed back some of her hair. "Sure." Said Buffy.  
  
Spike walks into the Bronze hopping not to see Buffy. He had been avoiding her for the past month. Ever since She told him that she was using him. He looked around and his attention was towards the stage. There she was on stage starting to sing. He walked towards the bar and order himself a beer and some spicy wings and one of those onion things. He turned his attention back to Buffy. He smiles knowing that for sure she knew he was here. He watched her.  
  
Don't be afraid  
  
Close your eyes  
  
Lay it all down  
  
Don't you cry  
  
Can't you see I'm going  
  
Where I can see the sun rise  
  
I've been talking to my angel  
  
And he said that it's alright  
  
Buffy moved with song and the band started to play along with her singing. Her eyes went to one person and she knew he was here. She had pain in her eyes. Still giving into her life. She closed her yes and sang into the microphone more.  
  
  
  
I've always had to run  
  
I don't know just why desire slowly smoking Under the Midwest sky  
  
There's something waiting out there  
  
That says I've got to try  
  
I've been talking to my angel  
  
And he said that it's all right  
  
He watched her move and stare at him. Pouring out her soul and emotions to him. Why him? That's what is running threw his head. He knows she was just using him but why is she doing this now. He watched her more and taking in her pain.  
  
This town thinks I'm crazy  
  
They just think I'm strange  
  
Sometimes they want to own me  
  
Sometimes they wish I'd change  
  
But I can feel the thunder underneath my feet  
  
I sold my soul for freedom  
  
It's lonely but it's sweet  
  
The gang eyes wide open looked towards the stage. They saw Buffy singing her pain out. They watched as their friend whom they didn't even noticed had come. They followed their eyes with Buffy and saw she was singing to SPIKE???.  
  
Don't be afraid  
  
Close your eyes  
  
Lay it all down  
  
Don't you cry?  
  
Can't you see I'm going where I can see the sun rise  
  
I've been talking to my angel  
  
And he said that it's all right  
  
The music faded and so did Buffy. It felt good to get that out of her chest. She wanted to sing more. She talked with band and asked if she can sing one more time. They all nodded and Buffy went back on stage. She looked at Spike and then at the gang.  
  
The light grew darker and a spotlight came on Buffy. She took a deep breath and put her heart and soul into this song.  
  
  
  
I don't want to talk about it  
  
I've done enough  
  
I think I don't want to spend more money  
  
Don't want another drink  
  
I would scratch out all the images  
  
If I had the chance  
  
Don't ask me what I'm thinking  
  
Can't you see I only want to dance  
  
Dance without sleeping  
  
Dance without fear  
  
Dance without senses no message I hear  
  
Dance without sleeping  
  
Dance till I'm numb  
  
Dance till I think I can overcome  
  
Walking on the edge of rage and understanding  
  
Between the black and the white  
  
This child is so angry  
  
Alone here tonight  
  
Alarming desperation  
  
Leads me to believe  
  
With all my shields and protection  
  
It's only me I deceive  
  
Dance without sleeping  
  
Dance without fear  
  
Dance without senses no message I hear  
  
Dance without sleeping  
  
Dance till I'm numb  
  
Dance till I think I can overcome  
  
The eyes on a magazine  
  
The voice on the radio  
  
The kiss on the movie screen  
  
This is the story I know  
  
Fathers hold on and they never go  
  
Mothers hold on and they never go  
  
Lovers hold on and they never go  
  
Lovers they come and they never go  
  
Dance without sleeping  
  
Dance without fear  
  
Dance without senses no message I hear  
  
Dance without sleeping  
  
Dance till I'm numb  
  
Dance till I think I can overcome  
  
  
  
She back away and the people in the crowed clapped their hearts out. Buffy whipped away a tear and then ran down the stairs and headed out of the bronze.  
  
Spike sat there. He was so in tuned with the song and the pain she was feeling and his eyes followed Buffy running out.  
  
The gang sat there speechless and now knows what has been going on with her. Willow burst in tears. Xander and Anya broke apart and Tara stood there by Willow and felt weird. ' She loves him.' She thought.  
  
Buffy ran into the street and it started to pour. She circled around and she felt like accomplished a lot. She smiled and she could feel him near her.  
  
"Buffy , luv, Are you ok?" he asked.  
  
"I am wonderful." She said still spinning around.  
  
Spike grabbed her and crushed his lips on her. Rain falling on their faces and she kissed him back with full force.  
  
  
  
Next to come Buffy and her friends "talk" Spike and Buffy Grow more together. 


	2. Finding out

Pain  
  
This chapter was done By my friend slayer.. We both are working on this story! I hope you like!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the character.. but We both want spike! Teehehe!  
  
  
  
They stood there kissing, rain falling down their cheeks. Xander burst  
  
through the backdoor of the Bronze.  
  
"What was Buffy's deal back there, we need to find her" He pulled his jacket closer to him and stared into the  
  
dark. He could barley make out two images. One looked like Spike and  
  
the other  
  
"BUFFYY!!" Willow exclaimed. Buffy quickly pulled herself from  
  
Spike and  
  
backed away from her friends. "Buffy what are u doing with HIM,"  
  
Xander  
  
hissed while glaring at Spikes image. Wait a second, this can't be  
  
Buffy,  
  
it's got to be one of Spike's new projects, he thought with relief. Or  
  
is it?  
  
"Bloody hell', you're not her boyfriend so why do you care?" Spike  
  
spat back  
  
advancing towards him. "I care because she is my friend and besides  
  
you  
  
couldn't get with the real Buffy unless she was drugged or a robot,  
  
dead  
  
boy," He walked over and stood in front of Spike. "Besides, what are u  
  
going  
  
to do to me? Oh yeah, I forgot you can't do anything to me Spikey's  
  
been  
  
neutered," he laughed and glanced at a worried Willow. "Yeah, you're  
  
laughing  
  
now, but if I recall right when I didn't have this chip in my head you  
  
whimpered like a bleedin'puppy when you heard my name," He wanted to  
  
tell  
  
Xander that it WAS the real Buffy, but he decided that was her choice,  
  
not  
  
his. He smirked then walked  
  
over to Buffy, ignoring Willow and Xander. "Pet, I'm leaving now, you  
  
know  
  
where to find me," he turned back and growled at Xander as he strode  
  
back  
  
towards his crypt, his duster flowing behind him  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Buffy bit her lip and looked sadly at Willow. Xander, he would never  
  
understand, but Willow she could always count on Will she thought.  
  
Xander  
  
just stood there in shock not really knowing what to say. "Buffy is it  
  
you?"  
  
he looked up at her with hopeful eyes. "I-its me," she said with a  
  
sigh.  
  
Without another word she began walking toward her home, leaving a  
  
soaked  
  
Xander and Willow looking at the ground in disbelief.  
  
"H-h-hi guys," Tara said walking over to them. She smoothed her  
  
shirt  
  
nervously "D-d-don't you think we should go inside?" She asked because  
  
she  
  
could see everyone, including herself was shivering from the cold rain.  
  
Willow patted Xander on the back and grabbed Tara's hand, leading her  
  
back  
  
into the Bronze. Xander remembered that Anya was sitting inside and he  
  
figured he should get back to her, so he reluctantly followed. "What's  
  
wrong  
  
Xander?" Anya asked enthusiastically while jumping into his arms." Do  
  
you  
  
want to have sex to make it better?" Xander plopped into the nearest  
  
chair  
  
and looked at his girlfriend.  
  
"Buffy Spike together," he managed to get out. "Oh so they are  
  
screwing,"  
  
Anya said  
  
flatly. Tara cleared her throat at the remark and looked at Willow.  
  
"Ah, Anh  
  
please, I really don't need that picture in my head until I die, thanks  
  
anyway!" Willow gave him a weary smile and looked Tara. "Can we go back  
  
to  
  
your place? The mood is kinda dead for Bronzin'" she sighed and looked  
  
around. "Um, y-y-ah lets go," Willow kissed Xander on the cheek and  
  
walked  
  
out with Tara. "You, know I think they have the right idea," Anya  
  
grabbed  
  
the still-in-shock Xander and led him out the Bronze.  
  
Even with her slayer strength, Buff was passed the many graves in one  
  
of the  
  
Sunnydale  
  
Cemetery, she had changed her mind so tired she could barley walk. The  
  
rain  
  
was really getting to her. Her mind raced as she about going home. She  
  
reached the front of the stone crypt and slowly opened the door. Spike  
  
was  
  
lying on his bed, she wasn't sure if he was sleeping or not. Probably  
  
not she  
  
thought. Spike had subconsciously heard Buffy coming at least twenty  
  
yards  
  
away, but he was so consumed in thinking he didn't really realize it  
  
until  
  
she was actually in his crypt. He quickly stood up and looked at her  
  
with  
  
mixed feelings and he was unsure of what to do.  
  
Her hair was wet and matted from the rain and her makeup running, but  
  
she  
  
still looked beautiful to him. Buffy saw him looking at her and she  
  
wiped her  
  
eyes, barley holding back tears. "I'm sorry," she said not really  
  
knowing  
  
what she was apologizing for. "Shh, luv, it's okay," he whispered. She  
  
stepped shakily over to him and he pulled her into his arms. 


	3. I know

Pain  
  
By SLD & Slayer(friend of mine).  
  
Author note: Please R&R… The Lyrics are from trespassers William "I know"  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy and the others… (Spike Sniff) Don't own him Damn _ anywayz enjoy!  
  
"Shh, luv, it's okay," he whispered. She  
  
stepped shakily over to him and he pulled her into his arms. She laid her head on his shoulder and cried. He stroked the back of her head and whispered sweet words in her ear. He kissed her head and rocked her back and forth. She cried more but this time silently. She moved her head and faced him. She brought her teary eyes and smiled at him. He brought his hand up towards her face and wiped the tears away from her eyes. She gently smiled and looked back over his shoulder. She watched as he whispered to her. "I'm not letting anyone hurt you.. You know that luv." She smiled and mouthed "I know" She just like him holding her. She felt safe. She moaned with confront and sighed with delight. He loved this more than she was. She closed her eyes and didn't even notice the presence of someone. She opened her eyes and saw Angel starring at them. She opened her mouth but she couldn't say anything. She pulled out of Spike's embrace. She walked over towards Angel and touched his arm. Angel pulled it way. Spike's eyes followed where Buffy walked off towards. Spike growled when he saw that she was touching Angel. He lowered his head. She looked up at him and frowned. When it comes to Angel he's nothing. Angel sniffed the air and sensed that she smells like him.  
  
"She's mine." He said with a growl towards Spike. Spike looks up towards Angel.  
  
"Whatever you say Poof. She always puts you first when we shag." He said facing Buffy.  
  
"Let's not true and you know that." She said coldly.  
  
"Right Love and I believe with my dead heart." He said sarcastically.  
  
Angel watched and listened to them both fight over something that he had no clue over. He only came to get information on a new demon. Spike now was sitting on his tomb, with his face in his battle mode. Angel shakes his head and looks at Buffy.  
  
" You cut your hair." As he played with her hair.  
  
"Yeah I needed something more you know.. Not me." She said looking at him and smiling. 'Maybe Spike is right maybe I do put Angel in front of me.' She thought.  
  
" Like sleeping with the undead is not you." Said Spike to himself. He laughed and snickers at his remark.  
  
" So umm Buffy can we head back to the Magic Box and do some research on this new demon." Asked Angel.  
  
"Sure." Said Buffy. She paused and leaned into Angel's ear and whispered " Wait outside"  
  
Angel looked at Spike and grinned. He walked out of the crypt and headed towards the bench. He starred at the door and waited for her to come out.  
  
  
  
"Spike, I just want to say that I don't care for Angel the way I did in the past. He's just a friend… A friend that needs help.. Can you understand that." said Buffy walking towards Spike. She stood in front of him and pushed back some of the fallen hair that was around his blue orbs. She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.  
  
"I will be back… Will you wait?" asked Buffy.  
  
"Always." He said.  
  
  
  
I know I'll never see you  
  
I know I'll never run into your body walking through the crooked streets  
  
I know I'll never hear you  
  
I know I'll never hear you like a sound that wafts inside from outside there  
  
I know that if I waited I know that if I wait a thousand days will lie wasted with thoughts of you  
  
my love I've pictured this:  
  
your violet eyelids opened to say "here's where you've been"  
  
your lips open to say "my darling it's been so very long and I'm in pain"  
  
She turned towards the door. She smiled and headed out. "I love you" He screamed.  
  
She softly says, "I know."  
  
He touched his cheek and slammed his fist down on the tomb. He jumped off and grabbed his duster and headed out. He moved through the graveyard watching them. He watched as she moved into him more and he wrapped his arms around her and leaned and kissed her on the head. She giggled and leaned her head on his chest as they reached the end of the graveyard.  
  
i know i'll never feel you  
  
i know i'll never get so close to you that i can't smell anything else  
  
i know i'll never see you  
  
i know that where you go i'll still be far from where you are  
  
my love i've pictured this:  
  
your violet eyelids opened to say "here's where you've been"  
  
your lips open to say "my darling it's been so very long and i'm in pain" sometimes i picture all your fingers  
  
sometimes they're crawling down my spine  
  
sometimes they're buttoning your jacket  
  
sometimes you're far but you're still mine  
  
i know that it is raining  
  
and i know that the rain will soak you through  
  
and leave you like the tattered sky  
  
  
  
Spike stopped and took one last look and headed back to his crypt. He kicked the door open and headed down towards the basement of the crypt. He saw candles light around the room and black rose petals on the floor. He glanced around and saw Harmony on the bed.  
  
"Did you miss me Blondie Bear?" asked Harmony.  
  
"Sod off." He said rolling his eyes. He turned around and headed back up to the main part of the crypt, Where he walked out into the night again. Finding that he was alone. He headed towards his favorite spot where he could see Sunnydale. He sat down and lowered his head and cleared his thoughts and starred in the endless night.  
  
I know I go in circles  
  
I know that window panes bring only rain and not your face  
  
sometimes I picture all your fingers  
  
sometimes they're crawling down my spine  
  
sometimes they're buttoning your jacket  
  
sometimes you're far but you're still mine  
  
I know that it is raining and  
  
I know that the rain will soak you through and leave you like the tattered sky  
  
I know I go in circles  
  
I know that window panes bring only rain and not your face  
  
  
  
I hoped you like it Please Review I'm so sorry that I didn't update soon enough. _ School sucks! And I have a cold! 


	4. Wanting You

Pain  
Chapter 4: Wanting You  
  
A/N: This is SLD Sorry we havent updated in awhile. We have been busy. Im coming out with a new story so I hope you would be looking for that. This chapter was written by Slayer! ^^!  
  
  
  
  
Buffy cuddle against Angel and it seem so normal sense she had done it so many times before, but it just didn't feel as right or as good as it did when she was with Spike. Things had really changed when she thought about it. I need to stop thinking for now. Just patrol Buffy, she told her self. They walked through the graveyard looking for anything demon-y. Although she doubted that anything would attack if they saw the Slayer and the Angel, well known around Sunnydale for being somewhat out of his mind and scary.  
"So must be a pretty bad demon you're after to come all the way to Sunnydale after it,"   
Buffy said while looking over at Angel.   
"Yup, it's a new one, pretty powerful to from what I hear to,"  
"Great just what I need," Buffy mumbled.   
"Well the demons not the only reason I came. I missed you," he said turning to face her.   
"Yeah I missed you myself," she said smiling. Even though she was glad Angel was back she couldn't get Spike's face when he saw Angel out of her mind. As if he was reading her thoughts she heard him ask the question she had been avoiding. " I meant to ask why were you back there with Spike? And did I hear him say something about shagging?" he choked out the words and looked at her hoping it wasn't true. "Uh, can we not talk about this right now?" She said harshly. He wanted for her to tell him now but he figured he should drop it.   
I need to get back to Spike Buffy thought. She couldn't get him off her mind. She knew that Angel wasn't what she really wanted. Spike was. "Angel, I uh need to be somewhere right now just let your self in the Magic Box ill be back soon. "Xander and the rest of the gang should still be at the Bronze but if they do get back early just tell them why you're here. Buffy prayed that the scoobies didn't get back early. She didn't know if Xander couldn't handle that now Angel was back in town. The whole Spike incident was enough for him to deal with at the time being.   
******************************************************************  
Spike sat in his armchair the images of Angel and Buffy in the graveyard playing through his mind over and over again. "Bitch," he muttered. Knew it wouldn't last long anyway he told himself trying to ease the pain. But his comforting wasn't working. "God I love her, I'd do anything for her and this is they way SHE TREATS ME," his voice grew louder with every word. He felt the tears stinging his eyes. "Damnit," he screamed smashing a bottle against the wall. Harmony jumped out of the bed and ran to Spike's side." Did somebody hurt my Spikey?" Harmony cooed. "Don't worry Blondie Bear, Harmony is here," she said petting his hair. Spike rolled his eyes and cursed himself forever even talking to her. "Harm," Spike said gently while turning around. "Get the bloody hell out of my crypt!!!!" he screamed. "But Spikey I love you," she said her bottom lip quivering. "Okay ill put it in simpler terms so you'll understand. "PISS OF!!" Harmony pouted and started to cry. "Fine I don't need you anyways!!!" she yelled sobbing, storming out of his crypt. Spike grabbed some whiskey and slummed back into his armchair.  
Buffy walked quickly towards Spikes crypt. She was growing more anxious to see him. When she felt she wasn't walking fast enough she broke out into a run. It felt like it had taking forever to get there as she neared the crypts stone door. She saw Harmony rushing out doing one of those annoying scream-cries that she used to do back in high school when she didn't get her way about something. "Fabulous," Buffy mumbled and kicked the door open to his crypt. "Spike?" Buffy called desperately. "Damn I didn't have time to get drunk enough," Spike mumbled. "So how were things with Peeches? Get a good nights shag in before it was time to head home?" He growled with jealousy. "Spike really it's not like that anymore with Angel. I don't want to be with him. I want to be with you," she said waiting for his answer. 


End file.
